Archive for May, 2012

Call me Dimwit

Jesus’ wish

     In 1997, through a series of most unusual events, which I’ll leave for another title, I ended up living in Mexico City. I was sent there as a missionary of Divine Mercy.

     NICE!!! You may say…. But it wasn’t all that nice. It was a one way ticket…… some money…. to last me forever… ..and no one asked me if I knew anything about Divine Mercy!.

     Because all I had left of all my possessions was in a suitcase, that’s all I took. Among those possessions, I had a Kodak camera and 2 rolls of photos. To last forever….!!

     I tried to be VERY frugal about everything I had. But there were some things that pierced me to the core of my heart I took one whole roll of them. I believe the same things affected Jesus similarly.

     To explain that I’ll have to back track some.

     In 1994, I was there, in Mexico City, for the first time in my life. I was there for 3 or 4 days just to see my sons from afar. Well, you see, they were both seminarians and I missed them so, so much, that when they both were sent to Mexico City for a global celebration, I went there too, not to join in the celebration but just so I could see them one more time. So, when I arrived there, the first thing I did was to take a taxi to the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe, run thru the atrium, making my way to the Shrine, elbowing my way passed the hundreds of people there. I made it to the steps, ran straight up and ….. without saying a thing, not even booo! to  Blessed Mother or Jesus, I turned around, facing the people,  now at a higher advantage point I made a  visor out of my hand, I began to look for my children.

I was scanning the perimeter in search for the bus bringing the seminarians in, and ….suddenly, my eyes went blind.  Black.  Blacker than the dead of night….. then I saw something like a flash light shining down from above on certain individuals.

The poorest of the poor.

In the thick crowd they are completely invisible. There was the skeletal woman with a baby hanging on her back in something like a shawl, her hand out begging for a coin. A 4 yr old or so, cross legged on the ground, with stump of half arm he held a Avian plastic bottle and with the other a twig. He was rhythmically accompanying himself as he sang, a little cup in front of him for alms. These individuals, invisible to the tourists, to those milling around , to those like me, oblivious to anyone but me and what I was looking for…. I grew conscious of another pair of eyes sharing what my eyes were seeing.

In a flash, all came back as normal. Those, to whom Jesus had drawn my attention to, were once again invisible, lost in the thick crowd of people everywhere.

I stood there speechless, like I had just crashed my car, but it was my mind what had crashed. Slowly the thought was forming in my mind…

I was looking for my children. And Jesus showed  who they were. I instantly understood my vocation. I am a lay Missionary of Charity, of Mother Teresa. God called me. I was only looking for my children and God switched them, he took them for Himself and gave more.

When my trip ended, I did get to glance at my sons. They looked like archangels. I cried again when I saw them. I miss them so much. But I cried just as much when I was bording the plane back home to US. All I kept thinking was that I had left my heart at the steps of the Shrine and I was now leaving without a heart. I cried all the way back, in the limo that picked me up, on my bed, for days I cried because my heart was left at the steps of that Shrine with those horrifically poor people that Jesus drew my attention to.

Back to 97, I retraced my steps and picked up my heart and looooved those poor people that I wanted to serve, and I was now one of them. Totally poor, but with Christ and for Christ, I had come back.

So I took a whole roll of pictures of those people. They were my children, they were deeply imprinted in my memory.

Well, sort of.

I did make my way back to US some months later, and how I did that will be another title as well, and my next job was to paint a painting for the Marians of Immaculate Conception priests. That was my 4th painting EVER, and they hung it at the Candle Shrine of the Divine Mercy in Stockbridge. As I was painting I was so impressed with myself that I took my camera out and began to chronicle this extraordinary painting coming out at the end of my brush.

After all was said and done and the painting was hanging at the Shrine, I was now on my next 2  paintings for them, aDivine Love by Yolanda Bello copyrighted by the Marians of DMnd rejoice!!  Now I had a little money to develop those pictures, the ones that I had just taken of the painting and ….. the ones that I had taken before that … were soo deeply imprinded in my mind, but had forgotten about….  Yeap, you got it. I took one whole roll right over the other I took in Mexico!!!!!

And what you see above is one of those double exposed pictures. This one is the one that impressed me the most. Uncanny how this poor, poor woman and the face of Jesus, MY JESUS, came out so exactly superimposed. I know, call me dimwit, to have forgotten that I took all those pictures a few months back, pictures that pierced me so deeply and …. and totally forgot I had taken them…….

Yes, you got it, call me dimwit. But look what Jesus did with it!!!!!!! Amazing!!!!


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The Love Tree


 is love rejoicing

Peace is love resting

Forgiving is love forbearing

Kindness is love serving others

Goodness is love seeking the best for others

Faithfulness is love keeping its promises

Gentleness is love ministering to the hurts of others

Self-control is love in control











©Text by Derek Prince  ©Design by Yolanda Bello


the love tree black

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       Is the African Indigenous Nations as disjointed and disordered as the US one???

       The Us African American population is in shambles. 70% of homes are headed by a single woman with children. The crime of black on black is about the same as Planned Parenthood assault on them. 7 out of 10 conceived black babies are aborted. 3, read it again, 3 out of 10 babies are allowed to reach birth. Thank you Justice Ginsburg. May God have mercy on you when you are face to Face.

Why are they helping the assault on them by the over that want them gone??

Can WE, the rest of compassionate civilization grab hold of such death wish for them and stand between the assaults on our black community???

They are also children of God.

I was visiting Canada not long ago and I thought I’d walk around a mall there. Entertained by the Canadian people going by, suddenly I was struck by something I had never seen before!! I was so riveted I must have looked catatonic.

I was so mesmerized at the incredible beauty of the Canadian black people. An inexplicable beauty I could not help but stare at them they were so beautiful.  The intrigue has killing me. What about them was making them so beautiful?

Person after person that filed past me, inquiringly looked at my stupefied expression back.

Suddenly I remembered a commercial that had caught my attention some time ago, when I also, had been captivated by the eyes of the black actress selling shoes. Her eyes were dead. Her eyes looked like a doll’s eyes. Lifeless, depthless, dead, empty. The black people I see, whether on TV, in person, in movies, there is no life, if there is something there is a millstone weight in their eyes.

That is what those blacks in Canada DID NOT HAVE!!!! Their eyes were alive, sweet, joyful, reciprocal, engaging. That is what was so beguiling about these people. I loved them!!! I truly loved them. I wa so attracted to the uncanny beauty. An internal radiance of contentment, peace, a trusting reciprocal smile, so totally beguiling.

One day, a gentleman that was an escaped convict, who was using my address illegally, as well as my phone number, don’t ask me how he got it. But, there was this man, who was causing tremendous upheaval in my home, giving me some cockamamie story about needing money.

          There he was, 18 in. from my face, and I began to feel such deep compassion for his mongrel, who survived day to day like a street dog, thru crime and I wondered what made him end there?? At what point in his life was that the only option for him.

          I don’t know what he was saying, but his eyes began to react. There was a lifting of the millstone weight, his eyes changed. Well, that sure shut off my compassion most imprudently expressed at that wrong moment. Towering over my head, there is no question he misread my compassion. I don’t know what he said but I told him I had to shut the door.

          I leaned against the door pondering on this man’s miserable existence.

          So what’s the difference between the US back and the Canadian black???


The peace of heart they enjoy, the lack of anger, the sweet enjoyment of life without millstones in their selves.

James 3:17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

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Viendo en perspectiva la historia del ser humano, tenemos tan poco tiempo. No seremos nuestra edad nunca más. No tendremos la energía ni ímpetu nunca más que tuvimos a los 20 años. ¿En que hemos invertido ese tiempo?

Bonito usar cada minuto de ahora en adelante como inversión en la felicidad y crecimiento espiritual. Tenemos menos y menos llamo a las locuras de nuestra juventud y niñez. Bonito usar cada día como inversión en el tesoro que sí se lleva a la eternidad

Si entendiéramos la naturaleza humana para no desperdiciar ni un segundo en degenerarnos. Somos como Dios nos hizo, y no tenemos otra opción. Ninguna.

Si entendemos las sabias palabras de Dios, nos revela tan simple y concretamente nuestra identidad, nuestra naturaleza, nuestra concupiscencia y nuestro destino. Cada paso, si a la derecha o izquierda, cual final se encontrará. Y hay tantos tan perdidos

Si vemos que Dios le dio a Adán todo su conocimiento de Si y de su creación, se entiende Su añoro de compartirse con nosotros,  sabiendo que Adán lo traicionaría de todas maneras, aún así, vació se en Adán por amor, dándole el ejemplo de cómo hacerlo y como se siente recibirlo.

¿Por qué? Porque es su intensión reflejarse en nosotros. Amor reflejando amor, para que ese amor se comparta infinitamente uno a otro de nosotros. Que nuestra naturaleza fuera completamente saciada en la concepción hasta la muerte. Y allí nos recibe Amor con Sus brazos todavía extendidos, esta vez iniciando un abrazo de bienvenida

Al final, tenemos un mapa de la vida claro y justo. Pero como el paralítico que no podía llegar al agua sanante sin ayuda, no llegaremos a esos conocimientos sin ayuda. El mandato de Cristo a que llevemos Su Palabra y Bautizo va de boca a oído, conquistando un corazón a la vez, un sitio a la vez, un alma a la vez

Adorado sea Nuestro Señor que por Amor nos creo y nos crea cada minuto si le damos permiso.

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                Seeing the history of the human being in perspective, we have so little time. We will never be our age again. We´ll not have the energy or impetus we have at 20 yrs old. How have we invested our time?

                 It would be so nice if we were to use each minute of our life from now on, as an investment in happiness and spiritual growth. We would have less and less attraction to the recklessness of our youth and childishness of childhood.

                 If we understood our human nature so as to not waste, not one second, in degerating ourselves, were that we would understand how God made us, we would have no other options, none, we would rejoice and exult our nature, so perfectly in tune with the Word of God, so clearly and specifically intertwined with Him.  

                 It would be so nice if each day we would invest in the treasure that is taken into eternity.

                 If we would understand the wise Words of God, how simply and concretely He reveals our nature, our concupiscence, the solutions for a perfect and holy destiny. Each step, if to the left or the right, what end we will encounter. Yet, there are so many souls so lost because they never heard It.

                 If we see what God shared with Adam, He shared Himself and His Creation, we could see and understand His longing to share Himself with us, even knowing that Adam would betray Him anyhow. He still did, pour Himself out of Love for Adam, giving him the example of how to do it and what does it feel like.

                   Why? Because it is His intension to be reflected upon us as if a mirror.  Love reflecting Love, so that such love would be infinitely shared from one to another. Like a diamond reflecting the brilliance of the sun.  So that our nature would be completely satiated from conception to death. And then, there would be Love waiting for us, arms still wide open still, but this time in an embracing welcome.

                      At every moment, before the end, we have a map of our lives, clear and just. But like the paralytic that could not get to the healing waters without help, we can’t get to such knowledge with out help. The mandate of Christ is to take His Word and Baptism from mouth to ear, conquering one heart at a time, and one place at a time, one soul at a time. Out of Love for Love Himself.

                      Blessed be Our Lord that because of Love He created us and He creates us each minute according to His Will if we give Him permission.

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Today is harder and harder. I would venture to say it’s harder because we have become more and more independent. Our choices are our own and no one can say a thing, there is always the response: “It’s my life!!!!”” Get out of my face!!!!” “I have the right to do whatever I want!!!!”

Who can say that such person is wrong??  it IS their life…… it IS their face/space…. The law protects that they can do what they want in large part….. no? Children in school KNOW that if mom or dad say the slightest thing to them that they don’t like, they can denounce their parents at school and the school will send a social worker before the school day is over. I know several families under such choke hold by the kids that the parents live in fear of another visit by the “belt police”, the discipline deciders…. These parents have been dragged thru court over and over to check on “progress” in monitoring of the “black and blue” marks on any part on the child.

Boy!!! if they were around when my boys were little, I would never have gotten out of jail… NEVER!!!! My oldest was a year old when he began to hear a mantra he would hear for the rest of his time at home…..”I’m going to break your arm!!!!!”

By the time he neared 8….. it became ‘I’m going to brake both arms!!!!! Well, he, now at 34 and the second boy, now 32 remember that if they got in trouble they got a fat lip…… they knew they would but now a days, I would have been sent to Alaska’s Alcatraz if there was one….. Never to come out….

I suppose revealing just how my raising children habits were may make you all frown…. I’ll say this…. as I was put in the frame of mind to … BREAK THEIR ARM I would notoriously take one shoe off and CHASE THEM TO GIVE THEM BOTH A PIECE OF MY MIND!!!! That chase,….. hate to say it…..certainly put us all in the right….”right” frame of mind….. we all ended totally out of breath and they still 20 ft away and I grabbing on to anything to hold myself up, panting and laughing so hard at the ridiculousness of it all….. They knew I could not catch them… I knew darn well I could not EVER catch them … but we all knew that they deserved that fat lip they never got, but more than anything they knew, they really knew right from wrong and the hard line in between the two.

They both got what they needed most to have, a well formed conscience. Their lives reflect such understanding.

So then I ask, can they know the Will of God at any moment???

I believe they can and so can anyone who has been taught the hard line between wrong and right, not what the world is calling right and wrong, but what God has said what is right and wrong.

At any moment we all are faced with a choice of right and wrong. No far off from the “What would Jesus do?” question…. He alone is the balance, were we to know what He actually would do.

He would choose to love, to genuinely love. For the benefit of the other,  love. At our expense many times, love. Did I teach that to my sons??? I don’t totally know. Those who know them, please tell me if they know.

We live in a world where “human respect” sin is not only unknown but rampant. No one says anything to anyone about anything personal or touchy or politically incorrect…. that’s the last name for it.

Blessed be the pure of heart….they shall see the Face of God.

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