Some years ago, I was living in Mystic, Ct. It was a time in my life of many changes. I went from being a mother, house wife, business owner, foster mom, independent, with lots of ministries leaning on me for sustenance, in short, on the top of the world, …….to none of those and homeless and totally dependent on God.
It happens. I was not the first nor will I ever be the last. But it was me. It happened to me.
Before, I felt like I was right at the feet of Christ, following His every move, but somehow I got distracted for a minute and He went right and I kept on straight…… right into dead end dark ally. No doors, nor windows, and the sky miles above, hardly visible to me. I felt like God had taken my life, crumpled it up and thrown it to the cosmic garbage can and as my life was flying across the cosmos I’d be yelling….
” Waaaaaaiiit!!! You got the wrong life!!!!!”
I did not see it during that time. I did not realize that God had me ever so tightly in the palm of His Hand, in the center of His Heart, with His Eyes unblinking fixed on me. I did not see it at all.
While in His closest of care, and oblivious to it, I wandered about many places, I thought lost, aimless. In that meandering I spent some time in Mystic Co. It was there that when I was walking across a large courtyard, I saw the most incredible thing. In the near center of 4,000 sq feet of cement, almost imperceptible, out of the car path and out of the foot path, valiantly erect, against all odds, a single, little Pancy. A little yellow Pancy facing me and who stared back most incredulously ….. How can that flower…….?????? How could it……be..???????
To this day, so many years after,
To this day I still wonder how did it survive there,
how did it make it there….??
Interrupting my bewilderment…..that very moment God spoke to me in lost Pancy language.
Very clearly He said to me:……” Have you not seen how nothing has hurt you?……. have you missed how well cared for you are???…… Did you not see how others are broken and on you only dust settles????….. Have you not felt how close to Me you have been when I kiss your cheeks????……Have you not noticed that you lack nothing but abundance surrounds you????? How can you miss that the sadness in your heart belongs to Me, I am holding you so tight, so carefully, so tenderly and you say I have thrown you away?????”
OH! YEAH!!!!! That tiny little Pancy sure had a mighty voice!!!!
I laid down on the ground and took pictures of that tiny little, standing perfectly erect- mighty voice- lost little- yellow Pancy, and when I saw it up close, there at ground level…. I saw the vastness of cement, the grey, hard, boring land escape that standing erect tiny little Pancy was surrounded with.
I felt like her, like little lost Pancy, I took her picture, because that was a picture of me.
And I had bloomed too. I had bloomed like Standing Perfectly Erect-Mighty Voice- Lost-little- Yellow- Pancy bloomed, in the most unlikely of places, in the most unlikely of circumstances, in the most incredulous of ways, with the very same care and nourishment she received: God’s most incredible tender Love.