Archive for March, 2012

The Lost Flower

           Some years ago, I was living in Mystic, Ct. It was a time in my life of many changes. I went from being a mother, house wife, business  owner, foster mom, independent, with lots of ministries leaning on me for sustenance,  in short, on the top of the world, …….to none of those and homeless and totally dependent on God.

             It happens. I was not the first nor will I ever be the last. But it was me. It happened to me.

              Before, I felt like  I was right at the feet of Christ, following His every move, but somehow I got distracted for a minute and He went right and I kept on straight…… right into dead end dark ally. No doors, nor windows, and the sky miles above, hardly visible to me. I felt like God had taken my life, crumpled it up and thrown it to the cosmic garbage can and as my life was flying across the cosmos I’d be yelling….

                           ” Waaaaaaiiit!!! You got the wrong life!!!!!”

              I did not see it during that time. I did not realize that God had me ever so tightly in the palm of His Hand, in the center of His Heart, with His Eyes unblinking fixed on me. I did not see it at all.

               While in His closest of care, and oblivious to it, I wandered about many places, I thought lost, aimless. In that meandering I spent some time in Mystic Co. It was there that when I was walking across a large courtyard, I saw the most incredible thing.  In the near center of 4,000 sq feet of cement, almost imperceptible, out of the car path and out of the foot path, valiantly erect, against all odds, a single, little Pancy. A little yellow Pancy facing me and who stared back most incredulously ….. How can that flower…….??????                                 How could it……be..???????

           Yes, that little Pancy looked 

           totally lost.

          To this day, so many years after,

          To this day I still wonder how did it survive there,

          how did it make it there….??


             Interrupting my bewilderment…..that very moment God spoke to me in lost Pancy language.

            Very clearly He said to me:……” Have you not seen how nothing has hurt you?……. have you missed how well cared for you are???…… Did you not see how others are broken and on you only dust settles????….. Have you not felt how close to Me you have been when I kiss your cheeks????……Have you not noticed that you lack nothing but abundance surrounds you????? How can you miss that the sadness in your heart belongs to Me, I am holding you so tight, so carefully, so tenderly and you say I have thrown you away?????”

          OH! YEAH!!!!! That tiny little Pancy sure had a mighty voice!!!!

I laid down on the ground and took pictures of that tiny little, standing perfectly erect- mighty voice- lost little- yellow Pancy, and when I saw it up close, there at ground level…. I saw the vastness of cement, the grey, hard, boring land escape that standing erect tiny little Pancy was surrounded with.

 I felt like her, like little lost Pancy, I took her picture, because that was a picture of me.

And I had bloomed too. I had bloomed like Standing Perfectly Erect-Mighty Voice- Lost-little- Yellow- Pancy bloomed, in the most unlikely of places, in the most unlikely of circumstances, in the most incredulous of ways, with the very same care and nourishment she received: God’s most incredible tender Love.


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19 yrs ago I learned most profoundly the meaning of this statement, when my son was 11 and a boy, not even his close friend, told me he would do sacrifices for my son’s vocation. He never noticed, but those words hit me like I had heard the voice of God, that moment. Those words shat thru me, changing me into someone I had never been before. Since then, that statement  lights my life at every level, not like a lighthouse in the fog, not like headlights of my car in the rain, not like a candle during prayers, but like the sun, brilliantly detailing the intricacy of how love rules every moment, every thought, every step, every temptation to not.

                Nine years ago, my husband and I moved to Omaha, NE. and shortly after, I went to volunteer at a large parish of mostly Spanish people. Very quickly it became evident what God was drawing my eyes to see. The Hispanics have NO ACCESS to Natural Family Planning here, none. The parishes don’t teach it, the radio station tells all about free love, and their doctors press them ferociously to use contraceptives but better yet to get sterilized, that is the most practical of all. To date, I have met two 24 yrs old sterilized at 21, irrationally pressed by their doctors to do so. Countless of married women are been sterilized without knowing what they signed, and some never signed anything, just went to deliver her second or third child.

                So I became a Natural Family Planning teacher and I use this statement in my classes as an introduction to Natural Family Planning. What would you do for love?

                The classes teach couples how to use their conjugal fertility strategically as to space their children according to their plans, life styles, financial situations, even careers and vacations, using what is there naturally already, the rhythm of nature. No, it’s not the rhythm method, nor the calendar method, but the understanding of how to notice one’s own fertile time.

                We, women, learn to know the time of fertility, the moment of ovulation. Try it, it’s incredibly empowering.  It is true control of one’s own body, one’s own sensations, one’s own choices, yes, one’s own choices are then blatantly clear.

                As opposed to what??? Any woman using contraception will tell you about the headaches, sore breasts, moodiness, weight gain, depression, and some more sensitive ones will tell you that they know they are used, just used, not loved.

           circle_month-300x260     Some may be aware of the side effects, worst yet are the consequences:  the many cancers killing women the past 30 yrs, such as breast, cervical or ovarian cancer, permanent changes to the cervix, blood clots, birth defects of the children conceived while on the pill, strokes, shrinking womb, greater susceptibility to AIDS due to the weakening of the immune system, irreversible bone loss, decreased libido, acne, hair loss, back pain, and the knowledge that the pill does not always prevent pregnancies, so early undetected abortions are a reality, no one knows just how frequently it happens.

                That brings back the initial question. What would she do for love?…Take contraception, even though it may kill her, for her guy?

                But, what would her guy do for love?? Keep her on contraceptives to “love” her often? Or to take her off contraceptives to love her deeply?

            Current statistic for divorce rates is 51% across all faiths but it is .2% among NFP users, and for the  prayerful ones….? divorce rate is.02%.

                So, what would you do for love?

Love means not having to say "I don't feel good"




              By Yolanda Bello




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Finding the Hand of God

Finding God in our surroundings is getting harder and harder these days.

As I was growing up, God was always somewhere within eyeshot. As a Catholic child, going to an all girl school run by nuns gave me a real good understanding of what my teachers were saying to me, God is everywhere, God is always watching, and my lack of trauma and cataclysms ( I thought) gave me a sense of protection. That is how His omnipresence affected me. I did not like nor dislike Him been there, all the time, watching me always. I just knew He was there and it was ok with me.

Such apathetic attitude about God did not serve me well.  As I grew up, that He was there or He was not there only helped me to forget to know that He was not there. Eventually if He was there or He was not there was the same to me.

Luckily my Catholic faith remained stuck in the back of my neck like the label on a t-shirt. Eventually what reminded me about God was, interestingly enough, was seeing Him again after so many years of been absent.

I was visiting Rome and I saw lots of priests and nuns in full habit walking all around. Now that gave me great pause. There He was!… once again He was all around.  He was watching me once again!! It was truly deeply affecting to me to revisit that moment in my childhood, that passive feeling of been around God.

It affected me so much that I became keenly aware that He was NOT around everywhere, He was not anywhere. It forced me to grow up, to search for Him interiorly, in my heart, for His Presence, for His watching me, for His knowledge of me.

So I learned to look for Him with interior eyes.

Because I am Catholic, my view of the news is a little different.

For example, on 31 August 1997 Princes Diana died.The whole world was so shocked, so sad, so overwhelmed!

She was THE example of charity, she was the first public figure to be photographed with aid patients in the world, her acts of charitable benevolence are said to have changed the world…….!!!

But at the climax of all those frenzied eulogies, the waling at her door step, something so momentous happened, that again! the whole world took pause…..

 on September 5, 1997 Mother Teresa died also.

5 days later.


There!, right there I saw the Hand of God!!!.

The beloved Princes Diana, so admired, so loved, so missed for so much good she did, she could not hold a candle to the unequaled charity of Mother Teresa because Mother did not do anything because of who she represented, or for her titles, nor in spite of her paparazzi, but for the perfection of the merciful love of God living in her day to day. Mother did not get on the phone to discuss her profound loneliness with anyone ,  EVER!  nor was she speeding to get away from anyone but she sped to someone in life and death need: to the poorest of the poor.  God alone could do that. The perfect act of justice.

The Scales of Justice holding on each balance a life.   He showed the whole world, perfect sinless charity, truly, and the facsimile of charity.

I love Princess Diana, but she did not champion charity.

A few years later, Mar 31, 2005   Terry Schiavo died during a most publicly committed murder. Her passion and death was seen on TV globally. Millions wailed at the injustice of how she was been starved to death, with policemen flanking her bed, guarding so no one would sneak in a bit of water.  She was denied her feeding tube; she was starved to death by civil law.  And then, the clouds parted and the thunderous Hand of God became visible again….. On the 2 of April 2005 Pope John Paul II died, with a feeding tube inserted, kept alive by God’s law.

2 Days later.


So why am I writing about this??? Because we have Barack Obama and the Hand of God will present to us the solution, it’ll the there, right there where the Hand of God is that our eyes need to be. We need to pray harder than we have ever prayed before.

And there, right there would be the Hand of God

holding the scales of justice, 2 lives for us to judge.

He showed us how He weights a life.

Have we learned how to do it yet??

Yolanda Bello

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